Can ANYTHING go right?

It's really hard to keep a sense of humor when everything seems to be going WRONG.  When I say everything.....believe me, I mean everything.  I was so stinkin' excited because I was offered a position on Wednesday.  Thank you Lord!  She asked when I wanted to start...."tomorrow of course!"  She called at 11 yesterday morning to load the platform on my computer and train me.  Everything was "supposed" to take about 1-1/2.  Right!  I was on the phone from 11 until 2:45.  There is a glitch in the platform and something on my computer not allowing my foot pedal to work.  Usually, in the world of medical transcribing, it helps to be able to hear exactly what the doctor is dictating.  That really is an important part of meeting your 98% accuracy rating.  The lady training me could not figure out what the *&$&)%(* was wrong.  She gave me a number to call.  Guess who I got to speak with?  Now keep in mind that I'm in tears at this point because I was supposed to have already started producing lines and making money.  I got to speak with Ritesh Patel in some remote middle eastern portion of the world.  I'm crying, he's speaking some language I don't understand and telling me to do different things and all I can say is "I'm sorry, I didn't understand you."  Really???  Come on......can't a girl get a stinkin' break?  This is unbelievable.  I'm speaking to some foreigner, my dog is snoring on her beanbag chair down by my legs (very loudly), Romo has to go pee and Landry is probably somewhere in the house chewing on the house..... I'm over this.  I just want to crawl in my bed and eat!  But nooooooooooo....I have to have a one-sided conversation with Sadam Hussein of the computer world.  I get an email from the lady who was training me saying that if it doesn't get fixed I have two options.  Either go out and buy another computer/foot pedal or not get the position.  Hmmmmm......that's a problem.  Guess I'm not getting that position.  No big deal, the offers are coming in everyday.  Right, and I'm a size 2.  On the positive side of things, I got an email from the lady who interviewed me last week just a few minutes ago.  This is the job that they had over 100 applications and are only hiring 4.  Anyway, the email says the head lady is going to call me this morning for her portion of the interview and "Good Luck!"  I'm now sitting on pins and needles wondering what it is I'm going to have to lie about with this lady.  I did get my Blue book and ready for any questions coming my way on that.  I'm hoping beyond all hope that I am offered a position and am one of the four lucky soles who get an offer.  Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that it started off crappy yesterday before she even called, because I was printing off the account specifics and samples and my black ink ran out.  SUPER!!!  So I start this morning in a really crappy mood.  I think to myself that it's okay we have our tax return coming any day now.  Clever me ruined the day even more.... I checked on line to see when our return would be coming.  It is "delayed....please contact the IRS for further information".  Well crap, that doesn't sound good.  I sit on hold for over 25 minutes to speak with a very pleasant sounding IRS lady who doesn't have a care in the world about my return.  She asks me every question in the world to verify that I'm really who I say I am.  She then puts me on hold for over 10 minutes.  It's all MY FAULT!  When I paid our estimated taxes in January I wrote MY SSN on the check.  They posted it to "my IRS account" and the computer spit out our tax return because it didn't show that the primary  account holder (that would be Joe) doesn't have any estimated taxes posted to his account.  The very-"nice"-IRS-lady-who-doesn't-give-a-crap-about-my-life-or-tax-return-or-anything-else-in-this-world said "it will be another 2 to 3 weeks to have that posted onto the primary's account and then your refund will be processed.  Another fine start to my morning.  So here I sit, no job with MedScribe because of computer issues, waiting for the second interview phone call from Opti-Script, no tax return for another month or so, Romo has to pee (or poop) again, Landry is laying in her bed chewing on her bed probably, the bird is screaming waking up the baby, the baby is wanting a bottle and some LuLu time, and still no black ink in my printer.  Wow, what an end to another unemployed week.  Come on God........NO MORE!  I wonder if the lady calling for my second interview would mind if I was chomping on some chips or candy while we chat.